The holidays are an exciting time with all the parties, gift giving/receiving, and spending time with family. So why do some of us feel the opposite? Instead of feeling joy and contentment we feel tired and stressed. It feels like we are always wanting more while we compare our lives to our friends.
We stalk each other on social media to see what others are doing this holiday season and we feel jealous or envious of what they did. I know I’m guilty of this as I look at my friend’s and family’s beautiful family Christmas pictures they got done by a professional photographer while our family never got around to doing it which means we won’t be sending out cute Christmas cards as others do.
It seems silly but it’s little things like that, that add up over time and make us feel discontent.
If you’ve ever watched It’s a Wonderful Life, you’ll know George Bailey also felt this way. For those of you who haven’t seen it, George grew up in a town where everyone knows everyone. He dreamed of exploring the world when he graduated high school, but he ended up taking over a family business. Over time, he got TIRED of life. Tired of the day to day struggles, tired of everyone else succeeding in life, while he’s stuck running a business that he didn’t want to run. Overall, he was tired of being average while everyone else seemed to live extraordinary lives.
After a while, he began to think about how life would be better without George Bailey being around. Long story short, a guardian angel named Clarence gave George a flashback on what life would be like if George Bailey didn’t exist. During this flashback, he realized how much of a positive impact he had on his friends, family, and community that he never recognized, which opened his eyes and showed him just how important he was!
He had a complete mindset shift where he went from tired and stressed to feeling pure contentment living the life he was blessed with.
Now obviously we can’t all have some guardian angel come down and give us flashbacks on life to knock some sense into us to feel contentment. So how do we get out of this funk? How can we feel content with life and this holiday season, when we see our friends and family seemingly winning in life on social media while we feel like we are struggling...
….struggling with our puny Christmas budget?
….struggling to feel joy when we know we overspent on Christmas?
….struggling when we see our friends posting everything they got for Christmas (and then some) while we didn’t get anything because we couldn’t afford much this year?
Well, I’m no expert on this but I’ll tell you what I do know that has helped me in the past. It’s ALL about changing your mindset! So how do you do this?
1. Be thankful for what you have
Do you have a roof over your head? Are you healthy? Do your kid’s go to bed with full tummies? Do you get to spend time this holiday season with friends and family? If you’ve said yes to any of these, then be grateful because there are some people who don’t have these things.
If you are in a funk (jealous, envious, or just plain tired) then look around your life and make a list of what you are thankful for. For me, some of my list items are:
Being married to my best friend and the love of my life
Being blessed with a beautiful daughter who is healthy and happy
Having the opportunity to raise our daughter at home
Finally owning our first home (just this year!)
I recommend putting these lists in electronic form (use an app or Google drive) so that you can access it at any time when you are feeling that funk.
Change your mindset by living with gratitude and reflecting on this thankful list, and you will be amazed at how much better you feel (this is instantaneous)!
2. Live for the experiences, not the gifts
Looking back to my childhood years, I really don’t remember what gifts I got or what year I got them in. None of that really made a lasting memory during Christmas. I know I received gifts, and I got them pretty much every year, but if you were to ask me specifics, it’s a true blur. But, do you know what I DO remember about Christmas when I was little? Our Christmas cookie decorating tradition.
Every year we would make sugar cookies that we cut out in fun Christmas shapes, bake them, then we would all gather around the kitchen table and frost them as a family! We had so many toppings and frosting colors to choose from and we just let the creativity flow! When I look back on those memories all I can do is smile because they are such joyous and vivid memories.
And you know what? We still make Christmas cookies as a family (whoever is in the area at the time) to this DAY and I will be getting my daughter and husband in on this tradition this year!!!
Christmas might be tough for you this year for whatever reason, but make sure you attend that party or family gathering you were invited to and just enjoy every moment of those experiences because they may make some great memories.
Remember, experiences OUTLAST the gifts by far.
3. Pause life for a moment
If you're at work trying to finish your end-of-year tasks and you feel your blood pressure skyrocketing, just PAUSE and remember what this holiday season means. As you are out in the Christmas chaos….as someone cuts you off in the crazy holiday traffic... Just breath. This is a time for celebration, it's a time to spend with family and friends, and it's a time to relax and make beautiful memories with your family.
I know for me life is hectic right now as I frantically finish up gift buying, party planning, and finish these year-end blogs/posts but my WHY is Christmas morning. I am pushing hard to get things done so I can wake up Christmas morning, drink my cup of coffee (a must) as I sit on our living room couch by the Christmas tree, and enjoy celebrating this Christmas day with family for the first time in our new home that we've been blessed with.
Make sure you pause for a moment in the chaos because contentment is there if you let it enter your heart.
Take Home Message:
This holiday season, don’t let the feeling of discontentment win over your emotions. Life might be tough if you have a tight budget this Christmas while your phone is blowing up with social media updates from friends and family getting awesome Christmas presents. But don’t let that get you down. Make a gratitude list, live for the memories, not the gifts, and press pause once in a while. You may not have a guardian angel to help get your mindset to shift towards contentment, but you have me. So listen to me when I tell you LIFE IS GOOD so let contentment flow through your heart!
Stop worrying about how much money you have to spend this holiday season, and start focusing on your family. If you do this, contentment will come.
If money is a HUGE STRESS in your life that's stopping you from feeling content, schedule a FREE call with me and let's chat!
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